giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
