butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
