I puked a lego.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
