he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
