It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
