yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
