as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
