I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
