why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
