Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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