Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
