this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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