On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Swine flu. Run for my life!
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
