I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
