I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
