Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
