so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
soo... how was my night?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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