for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
