pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
