My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I take back everything I said about communal showers
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
