You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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