I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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