Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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