Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
