do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
