I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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