Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
