Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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