Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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