I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
no you cant smoke seaweed
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
