Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
