last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i drank out of a bidet.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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