Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
