Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
