He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
another moral hangover. fuck.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Congratulations! We have a period
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
