I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
