Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
