i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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