I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
