Sacagawea was the original milf.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
