Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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