You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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