I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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