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well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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