even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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