i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
