spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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