1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
