I wish I only lived at night.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
