i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
